The Sack Itself
So over the last two
weeks the Coalition government, at the clattering urging of its increasingly
frothing-at-the-mouth-insane right-wing, has decided to review the Safe Schools
program; a program designed to foster LGBTI inclusion and prevent bullying.
According to perhaps their loudest spokesman, the pinch-eyed upright skink Cory
Bernadi, the program ‘indoctrinate[s] children into a Marxist agenda of
cultural relativism’ (huh?). And today, George Christensen, a semi-sentient walking
sack of wet mildewy corn starch wearing glasses, said that Safe Schools
essentially ‘grooms paedophiles,’[1]
as if the program is doling out handbooks titled: A Misunderstood
Inclination: The Perks of Paedophilia. Of course, both men are well
known for their opposition to same-sex marriage on the grounds (at least, according
to Bernardi) that it’ll lead our society to accept bestiality. They are, to put
it very simply (perhaps in terms even they may understand … well, probably not),
a pair of homophobes, terrified of, and threatened by, sex (beyond the terrifically
narrow boundaries of what they know), change and acceptance.
Yet, besides fostering bestiality and providing a handy framework on how to be a paedophile,
I’ve discovered they also have other beliefs about what is actually going on in
the Safe Schools program. A list:
·
Recruiting
children to enact the plot of The Gays to coat the world in glitter and
sequins.
·
Indoctrinating our
children in The Gays agenda to revive Stalin with the power of Fabulous and
install him as the head of all governments.
·
Educating children
about The Gays sexual predilections, thus perverting proper acts of sexual
intercourse for the sake of undermining and devaluing God’s position: the
missionary position.
·
Creating a
generation of children who will perpetually have one arm raised in the air,
their hand cocked at right angles just so and fingers looping in lazy jazzy
circles while they say on perpetual loop, ‘haaaeeeey!’ This is an obvious and subtle
piece of trained witch craft designed to lure people into the sassiest corners
of The Gays community.
·
Watching The L
Word on repeat.
·
Strapping children
into chairs, prying open their eyes with pins and elastic bands, and making
them watch gay porn for hours on end to ‘normalise’ homosexual activities.
·
Making children
listen to Liza Minelli and Melissa Etheridge, then assigning homework that asks
them to deconstruct and analysis The Gays codes and symbols in their music.
·
Creating road
trips to the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras, which, as any sane Liberal
politician knows, is merely a shallow front of The Gays to recruit for ISIS.
·
Prolific and
energetic fights with dildos and other sex toys. This is practice, obviously,
for The Gays upcoming revolution.
·
Encouraging our
children to attend Gay Bars, ground zero to all of The Gays nefarious plots,
Fabulousness, females in flannel and Birkenstocks, and (over) abundant mesh top
dancing. These spaces are considered dangerous to straight people determined
not to be gay.
·
Lessons in The
Gays geography and demography: where to be Gay, how to be Gay there, how to
encourage other people to be Gay there (that is, how to spread the Gay), how to
encourage people to accept the Gay there.
·
Scaring children
away from the safe arms of organized religions, like Catholicism, clearly the safest and most
asexualised of all religions.
[1]
http://www.theage.com.au/federal-politics/political-news/malcolm-turnbull-under-pressure-after-george-christensen-likens-safe-schools-program-to-pedophile-grooming-20160225-gn42jk.html
