35.
The paperwork was nearly done. Neatly
stacked and ordered. Marked in all the most important places with colour-coded
tags for quick reference. Perfect double spaced and Times New Roman font. A rigid
adherence to proper Ministry grammar: active voice, present tense, direct, no
split infinitives, consistent and simple word usage, neutral in tone, short
sentences in short paragraphs. It was a well-engineered piece of official legalese,
impenetrable to anyone but its authors and Officers of Ministry Law. A perfect
piece of papered construction for the Ministry.
It
had taken Hadley and Carol all evening to prepare it. Not that they minded. The
preparation and justification of the case was the job, after all. A not
unenjoyable part, at that. Indeed, they relished the quiet echo of fingers
typing and government books shuffling in eager hands.
‘Well,
I think that is almost that,’ said Carol.
‘You
could say that, Carol,’ said Hadley.
‘I
did, Hadley.’
‘I
heard it.’
‘We
are agreed then?’
‘For
the purpose of now, yes, we are.’
‘Phenomenal.’
‘Awesome.’
‘Shall
we hand it in?’
‘We
must. They have been patient.’
They
stood and brushed their impeccable suits of invisible office dust. Hadley
reached out and retrieved a last piece of paper from the printer. He carefully
added it to the other pages. Carol prepared a large stapler. She looked over to
Hadley. He was organizing his pens in order of size and colour.
‘Are
we certain that the Ministry position is unassailable?’ asked Carol.
‘Research
has shown that our capability to shield the Ministry from fault is highly regarded,’
said Hadley.
‘I
believe it has.’
‘It
is often said.’
‘It
should be noted then, Hadley, that based on past performance, and the frequent observations
of the success of our past performances, that our work tonight is very likely to
be quite judicious in its design and, therefore, a reasonable justification for
future actions.’
‘Then we are
ready.’
‘It would
seem so.’
‘So it would
seem.’
‘It
should be noted that we have reached accord.’
‘Noted,’
said Hadley, who signed the top of their paperwork.
‘Agreed,’
said Carol, who signed under Hadley.
Standing
up from either side of the desk, they turned to stare at one another. Firmly,
from the elbow, they shook hands. Then peeled back each other’s sleeves,
revealing forearms crisscrossed in pale new and old scars.
Both
pulled plain switch knives from small sheafs on their hips. Flicked them with short
whipped cracks.
‘Truth
is written in blood,’ said Carol and scoured Hadley’s arm with a short, sharp
cut.
‘Truth
is written in blood,’ said Hadley and scoured Carol’s arm with a short, sharp cut.
Blood
dribbled down onto their document. Splattering over the title of their work: DMB777890:
An Exhaustive Rationale for the Execution of Nichola Otwey and Helmut Iser.
It sponged along the paper to the header: Department of Ministry Biffs:
Sub-Department of Ministry Property, Contraband & Dangerous Artefacts.
Carol
and Hadley placed their knives down on the desk, then drew narrow glass inkwells
from pockets in their jackets. They held these high and let marine blue ink
dribble down onto their outstretched arms. It spilled into the blood still
pumping from their cuts, dribbling over the edge onto the paper in little
splots.
‘Truth
is written in ink,’ they both said and placed their inkwells next to their
knives.
Carol
stapled the pages together. Hadley rolled the sopping document into a tight
roll and placed it in into a plastic tube.
‘Shall
we?’ he asked.
‘It
is probably best we do,’ said Carol.
‘Then
we must.’
‘Indeed,
we must.’
Hadley
reached out and opened a hatch on a chute next to their desk. He placed the
tube within. There was a sucking noise and the tube, with all their hard,
meticulous work crafted in rewarding exacting detail whistled up the chute into
the ceiling.
‘Excellent,’
said Hadley.
‘Fabulous,’
said Carol.
They
went about quickly sopping their arms with a clean towel they kept in their
drawers, dabbing any stray specks of blood or ink. Their work spaces were
immaculate. Everything had its use and was free of clutter.
When
they were done, Carol opened a large metallic cupboard. She reached in and
pulled out a grey assault rifle. Hadley took it from her and proceeded to
systematically check its functioning and parts. The feeding, chambering,
locking, firing, obturation, unlocking, extraction, ejection, and cocking were
examined, then examined again when he handed it back to Carol. They repeated
the process with another rifle and a pair of Glock 26s.
‘The
firearms appear to be fully functional,’ said Hadley.
‘Arguably,
they have never been in finer function,’ said Carol.
‘I
would not argue that point.’
‘Nor
would I.’
‘Fortunate,
for it would seem that their use is imminent.’
‘I
agree with this assessment.’
‘As
do I.’
‘Exactly
as it has been stated?’
‘Of
course. Word for word.’
They
holstered the pistols and slung the rifles over the shoulders. Carol went to switch
off the office light. Double checked that things were spick and span. In exactly
the right place. Waited for confirmation. The gears of stripped bureaucracy and
small government to work.
‘You
know, I do think that we have done fine work this evening,’ said Carol.
‘I
do, too,’ said Hadley.
‘It
is good that we agree on this.’
‘Your
summation is precise. I appreciate it.’
‘I
appreciate your verbalised appreciation.’
‘It
is good we are using the skills we learned in Positive Office Communication.’
‘It will
please human relations.’
‘It
was a worthwhile course.’
‘This
has been said a great deal, by a great many people I know.’
‘They
must be wise.’
‘They
are.’
‘A
happy office is a positive office.’
‘A
happy worker is buoyed by the positivity of others.’
‘Are
you happy?’
‘Of
course. We are working.’
‘Working
is exciting.’
‘Excellent.’
‘Fantastic.’
There
was a sudden thumping sound as a tube slammed down their chute. Hadley pulled
it out and unrolled the scroll-like paper within. He read.
‘Happily,
again, it is good news,’ said Hadley. ‘Many of our Ministry scholars have
managed to find where the Traitor placed his offspring.’
‘This
is good news.’
‘Terribly.’
‘Where
is she?’
‘St
Kilda. It isn’t far.’
‘It
is quite close.’
‘I
will drive.’
‘This
is probably a good idea.’
‘Unity
is best.’
‘Always.’
‘Then let us go.’
‘Yes.
Lets. You have done well tonight. I have noticed,’ said Carol.
‘Thankyou,’
said Hadley. ‘I have noticed your fabulous work too. Now, let us go get the
Ministry Knife back.’