Wednesday, 15 April 2020

The Knife Sharpener (23)


23.

On the other side of the one-way window, in a hot sterile white room with a drain in its centre, a mass of naked men throbbed and vibrated. Through the small speaker, Matilda could hear their moans and grunts. Sweat sheened on their bodies. Bodily fluids dribbled off them. They adopted all imaginable positions. Some near unimaginable. Contortions beguiling usual human flexibility. They worked in pairs, teams, singularly. There was a mechanical precision to their act. An intensity saturated in a performative pleasure slowly starting to get real despite themselves. Wet slapping sounds. Moisture hitting the floor.
            Matilda turned to one of her chef de parties. ‘Add two more,’ she said.
            The chef nodded and flicked a switch on a control panel nearby.
            A door in the white room slid open. Two men stumbled out, blinking. Erections at the ready. With little hesitation they added themselves to the group. Welcomed by their comrades. Pulled into the pile. Finding their own partners. Or groups.
            ‘And turn up the heat. One degree,’ said Matilda.
            The liquids being secreted in the room circled the drain in its centre. Dribbled in. Then pumped into a beaker next to Matilda in the control room. It was half full. A cloudy, viscous film. She pulled a teaspoon from one of the pockets of her deep red chef’s jacket. Dipped it into the beaker. Stirred a little. Brought it to her lips and slurped gently.
            Her eyes were closed. Thoughtful. She let it wash around her mouth, her tongue, the back of her throat. Measuring for saltiness. Sweetness. Bitterness. Sourness. Umami. Matilda let the flavours carry her. Tug at the memory synapses in her brain. What did it remind her of? Where did these flavours take her?
Was it the sea? The front beach in Sorrento? Or further west? Barwon Heads? Waves rolling over fish scales and seagull droppings speckled with fried chips.
No. It wasn’t the sea at all. It was earthier. Less tangy and mouth filling. Not as dehydrating.
It was the minerality of a rock in the Grampians. A dribble of rain falling off a saltbush onto pure granite touched lightly by soil and clay moments after a humid, mid-summer storm. A delicate flavour: a salty sweet savouriness, edged by the suggestion of bitterness.
But also, an unfortunate sour plasticity. A used condom left nearby by lazy lovers whose taste had been carried by the rain over the rock. Leaving a distasteful residue.
Matilda spat into a bucket. Leaned over to a microphone. ‘Faster,’ she said. ‘Harder.’
The men in the white room followed her command. The gyrations picked up pace. Rising and falling. Moving like a knife slicing through vegetables for a mirepoix. Exact but mostly unfussed about size and shape, concerned mostly with reaching the finish. Getting to the actual cooking. Liquid continued to dribble into the beaker.
The carrots had to be perfect. Matilda wanted to bring out their gentle earthy tones and soft bitterness through gentle caramelisation. Show off their naturally sweet fruitiness. Match them with the tender fat meat of braised flamingo shanks. The star attraction for her gala dinner at ChefComp. Serve with a subtle lemon vinaigrette of hydroponic garlic and aged Dijon mustard made by an extinct order of knights – a little acid to cut the richness.
Matilda had discovered that the earthy salt and sugar emitted in the sweat and fluids of people engaged in sexual activity matched delightfully with carrots. Fucking juice contained the right level of sugar to create the kind of soft, crusted browning she sought, while the salt was both savoury and understated enough to not overpower the natural taste of the carrot. And all that delicious funk underneath it – it did something she did not have the gastronomic vocabulary to describe. But she knew how genius tasted.
She had experimented widely to build the right profile and balance.
Firstly, couples on their own, or even in ménage e trois, didn’t produce enough seasoning. Even in temperature-controlled rooms with the heating all the way up.
Orgies, then, were the way to go.
Secondly, although heterosexual sex parties worked well, Matilda had found that female emissions were generally too perfumed. Tending to overpower the husky mustiness and musk she had found to be pivotal to the taste of her carrots. This, also, ruled out lesbians. (Although, they would likely go exceptionally well with some poached peaches – maybe, nectarines – for dessert. A future recipe, but one worth returning to.)
Thirdly, and finally, it needed to be men. Lots of men. In hot muggy spaces. Matilda supervised their cleaning and arousal levels. Assigned them their performance enhancers – organic stimulants and aphrodisiacs she had also tested, making sure none of these unfortunate (but required) additives inhibited the natural taste she desired.
Then, with her mise en place set, she set them at it. Orchestrating the act from her control room. Never directing positions or groupings. Only pace. Ferocity. Temperature. Adjusting the gas and stirring, so to speak. Seeking that ideal flavour.
She watched them go at it. Reaching crescendos and plateaus. Her precious seasoning drooling off them. There was no rest. Not till Matilda said it was done. Knew it was ready to serve.
The dinner would be a masterpiece. The talk of Melbourne. An avant-garde tribute to classical Roman cuisine. Her arrival to the heavenly gourmet domain of Apicius. His flesh and blood as dinner. As tribute.
Matilda pulled out her phone and checked the message from Nicko again.
im on the knife. church dont it anymore. some girl has it. she’s with a knife sharpener. might be a guy i know from working down in south melbourne. following up with a few old chefs n friends. don’t worry, we’ll have it soon.
She tasted the mixture again. Leaned into the mic. ‘Slow,’ she said and watched the feral sexual aggression in front of her pull back, find some passion in a mess of oiled, hot, closed-eye bodies. Roiling and rolling. Bubbling now to a gentle simmer. Time to integrate flavour.
She fantasized about what she could with the knife of Apicius.

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